Tags
Childhood, Christmas Grinch, Grand Theft Auto, GTAV, Parenting, Pollyanna, Video Game Violence, XBOX 360
That’s right, I’m the Christmas Grinch. At least my son will think so Christmas morning when he doesn’t get the gift he has his heart set upon. But can you blame me? It’s Grand Theft Auto V (GTAV). I don’t like many video games – especially ones with violence and guns – but I must admit I have caved on a few. However, my feet are firm now.
For several months my son has been asking for GTAV. For several months I have been saying no. His argument for the game is that all his friends have it. That – in itself – is very disturbing. My son is eleven. So are his friends. What parent allows their 11-year-old to play a game with violence, blood, cursing – and did I mention prostitutes and sex?
When JJ first asked me for a video game system, I refused. He was heartbroken. “But Mom, I have no friends,” he said. “And you think sitting inside playing videos is going to change that?” I responded. “Yea,” he answered. “All the kids at school play together online every day.” Obviously, I was quite out-of-touch.
When I was a kid, we played outside. Bands of children running through neighbor’s yards playing hide-and-seek. We joined with other kids on the block and had punch ball tournaments in the street, or we’d ride bikes till it got dark. That’s how we played together. Times have surely changed.
Maybe I’m a little guilty, because I don’t let my children roam the neighborhood like I did years ago. But it’s not like they’re always sitting home. Both JJ and Lara have dabbled in many activities – gymnastics, baseball, guitar, choir, swimming, robotics, chess, afterschool drama club….I could go on and on. But now they’re limited to two main activities. They’ve been taking Tae Kwon Do since they were four; JJ is in the Boy Scouts and Lara takes drum lessons.
Even so, JJ continued tugging at my heart strings until they broke. Still, I didn’t run out and buy him a system. I shared the expense with him and his sister for an XBOX 360. Big mistake. Big, big mistake. Now his ‘friends’ are playing GTAV.
I’ve explained – till I’m blue in the face – that the game is violent and the language they use is inappropriate. That robbing and killing people for cars is not how you get them – working hard and purchasing them is the only acceptable route. And furthermore, equally important, I don’t want him treating women with disrespect. Now, I’m no Pollyanna but that game is off my moral compass.
His response, “Mamma, don’t you think I know it’s a game? I just want to play with my friends.”
Now I don’t blame JJ’s friends for enjoying games that are way above their mind’s capacity to process what is actually taking place. They are, in fact, just children. But they are children who are becoming dehumanized and desensitized by having the shock factor removed from truly horrible actions while taking part in behaviors that are detrimental to their emotional and psychological growth.
While I believe I am doing the right thing for my son, my heart is still breaking and it will be crushed on Christmas morning when he realizes that Santa, nor I, got him what he really wanted. I’m hoping Santa brings him new friends this year. Friends who have parents who care to raise socially and politically correct adults with a conscience. To me, that groundwork is a little shaky when 11-year-olds are allowed to pick up hookers and participate in desensitizing violence while ‘playing’ GTAV.
(c) 2013 September Mom
I wish more parents would parent instead of being a friend to their children. Too many don’t realize that ‘parent’ is a noun and a verb. For what it’s worth, I believe you’re doing the right thing. Kudos to you.
Merry Christmas.
~ Darling
Thank you. It’s hard and it’s killing me because I know how upset it makes him. I’m hoping one day he’ll understand. I appreciate your comment. Merry Christmas to you and yours too!
September Mom
Prepare for the tantrum. You’re a safe place for him to fall. Love him enough to say no. I feel your pain.
~ D